önmagam

Originally Posted by Hans  There is no room for thoughts on how I will say those words; they just flow. Honest concern about another person concentrates the mind completely. You may find another reason to forget yourself. It is the only way I know to feel absolutely free.

There were only two times I was completely fluent. (Not a stutterer who happens to be fluent, but a fluent, normal person.) Once when I was in love: that's the awareness of the Other Person that Hans is talking about above. I was totally lost in Her, and strangely that was the first time I found myself. So then, in the end, wasn't she me?

But Hans forgets about something. That this awareness of Others doesn't last. I won't draw now the philosophy of love.., but this is how it meant to be. You may forget yourself for moments lasting for months, years (for women it can be decades) – but then you'll find yourself alone again. 

I wonder, can I reach out with that awareness to myself…? How could I do it, if I can't love somebody on purpose?